It was a time, when, where all things around didn’t seem to matter. You know that you have one friend who will accompany you in all the activities of yours and walking through the trails of paddy field after school was such a good moment. Eating peas and turnip from the field not knowing who the owner was. Well yes, you can never forget getting chased by the watch guard when he sees you. I and my friends were just entering the teenage period.
As we start to cross years on teenage and enter the twenties, it is no more the same. You start caring about the things that are around, the thoughts of people, having only one friend or no one. Is it the plays of mind or is it something that everyone walks this path? Well, you are no one but an introvert, a wallflower.
I sometimes feel that I completed my education early. Twenty-year-old? Is that an age you enroll yourself in career and job? My time in high-school was the first time I stayed away from parents and had to study with my brother who was in the capital but then, during that period the only thought I had was, “my mamma and papa has sent me here to study and I have to excel”. I did my studies and excelled in it too but the day next to result declaration day I was the only one; alone; contacts of not even a single friend in a phone book. I expected a bit different in college; it was very much the same except for some activities you initiated.
I like working on coffee tables; café sounds more appropriate here. I guess it’s a trend in western countries that a person works sitting in a café. I like it, the calmness, the ambience and not having to talk to any people around when no one cares what you are doing.
But, do I want to talk? Do I want to share my ideas? Do I want to say how I felt for you? The answer is yes. Nothing stops you from being an introvert. My cousins say that I mingle with people well but don’t know why you are like that. For instance, let’s say I have my known buddies with me. I don’t share anything except my work thoughts.
Why the inability to open up? I can see the next person talking with the other guys like he has known them since eternity. It was part of daily work. I had to teach to a group of monks: filming and photography. It was far from the town; in the midst of getting you closer to snow-capped mountains. One thing I notice! It is when you are not engaging yourself that your thoughts hunt you, pushing you more towards loneliness and feeling that someone has cursed that you will have no friends. And yes, I am a creator of my thoughts and the nerves keeps on squatting; don’t know from which place to other, that does make you realize that you are thinking of that or this.
I am an introvert. Speaking isn’t easy for me unless you come and talk. But come once and talk to me and I can guarantee you, you will see me as more of a person who likes creating jokes and laughing all the time. The otherwise case, I will be an introvert always ?.